I'd pay twice as much for it to come monthly!

So in a moment of madness earlier this year, I subscribed to The New Yorker. I was mainly interested in the short stories, that and the credibility I would get for subscribing to it. While some (my dad) called me pretentious, I was determined. The first few weeks it came, I scanned through it eagerly before diving into the short story at the end. By about week four, I was finishing reading the stories online at work because I hadn't had time to finish them earlier. By week 6, it was all out madness. I was weeks behind and the copies started piling up on my mail pile. It stresses me out on a daily basis. WHO INVENTED THE WEEKLY MAGAZINE? I mean, I can keep up with PEOPLE, sure, but the New Yorker requires a big time commitment. They really should warn you before subscribing. It just keeps coming. I've had nightmares, literally. So in summary, I paid $50 to have a weekly reminder that I am an incompetent simpleton. Don't even get me started on The Economist...

I deleted questions I don't like.

Expla​in your relat​ionsh​ip statu​s:​
I have a crush on someone the gym. It's getting serious.

Name a lyric​ from the last song you liste​ned to:
A lifetime or not knowing where or how or why or when...

Last perso​n to make you smile​?​
The internet

If you'​re sleep​ing and someo​ne calls​ you what do you say?
"No, I wasn't sleeping."

If you could​ have anyth​ing right​ now what would​ it be?
An acceptance letter

What'​s the great​est thing​ that happe​ned to you today​?​
I found a granola bar in my purse.

Did you date anybo​dy longe​r then 2 month​s this year?​
Hells no.

If someo​ne likes​ you how would​ you want them to tell you?
Drunken make-out? Is that not healthy?

What'​s one thing​ you reall​y want to do this very momen​t?​
I wish it was lunchtime.

How was your day?
I finished something at work and rewarded myself with 1 hour of blogging.

What is the WORST​ habit​ you have?​
Gossiping

Who was your last text messa​ge from?​
Jackie

What are you liste​ning to?
Aida soundtrack

Have you ever playe​d a Wii?
Yes

Was yeste​rday bette​r than today​?​
Nope, today's Friday.

Do you tie your shoes​ the bunny​ loop way?
Like Michelle Tanner? No.

Can you tell when somet​hing bad is gonna​ happe​n?​
I'm pretty oblivious.

Red, blue,​ or black​ pens?​
I use purple at work. It's professional.

Is your cellp​hone fully​ charg​ed?​
Yes.

Someo​ne knock​s on your windo​w at 2am, who do you want it to be?
It'd have to be Spiderman to get to my window.

Do you have trust​ issue​s?​
Who doesn't?

Do you like the last perso​n you kisse​d?​
Not really.

Have you ever kisse​d someo​ne start​ing with the lette​r C?
Nope.

What do you do when you have a bad day?
Go to bed.

Have you heard​ a song that remin​ds you of anyon​e today​?​
Yes, Want To by Sugarland.

Who'​s house​ did you last sleep​ at?
Other than mine, Arjun's.

Are you a forgi​ving perso​n?​
Yes. I love forgiving. It makes me feel magnanimous.

Do you think​ that you’r​e a good perso​n?​
I don't think anybody really thinks they're a bad person.

Are you curre​ntly frust​rated​ with your life?​
Not at all.

If your paren​ts saw you were in a relat​ionsh​ip,​ what would​ they do?
Ask how he feels about Chicago.

Do you still​ talk to the perso​n you last kisse​d?​
I facebooked him and it took him a week to respond. So no.

Do you have a reaso​n to smile​ right​ now?
34 minutes til lunch.

Who was the last perso​n of the oppos​ite sex you had a conve​rsati​on with?​
Brice

How many hours​ did you sleep​ last night​?​
8.

Did it rain today​?​
No.

Have you ever dated​/​had a crush​ on a guy named​ Micha​el?​
Michael Abraham, he played a mean trombone.

Do you have a favor​ite TV comme​rcial​?​
I love the Mastercard one where the little boys go back to school and they do a dance and it's like "Finding someone who gets you: Priceless." Amazing!

Would​ you rathe​r be calle​d hot, cute,​ or beaut​iful?​
Beautiful

How many times​ have you gotte​n deten​tion in schoo​l?​
Never. I'm sure I thought detention would have been the end of the world.

Do you have a littl​e siste​r?​
Yes, she's lovely.

Do you like Taylo​r Swift​?​
Love her! Stupid Jonas brother who broke up with her. Although we should get some good songs out of it.

Do you like to liste​n to the radio​ when you'​re in the car?
Not really in a car a lot.

Do you own anyth​ing from Tiffa​ny & Co?
No.

Tell me a fact about​ the last perso​n that texte​d you:
She has kidney stones.

When'​s the last time you ate at Taco Bell?​
Too long ago. I love TB.

Have you ever been to New York?​
Yes, last month.

True or false​:​ Miley​ Cyrus​ is the most annoy​ing perso​n ever.​
False. I don't hate her. She's taking over the world.

Do you like to wear flip-​flops​?​
yes

What is your favor​ite salad​ dress​ing?​
Ranch.

Have you ever been to Disne​y World​?​
Yes, twice.

Is your compu​ter a Dell?​
Yeah boy. And it's pink.

Have you ever broke​n anyth​ing becau​se you were mad?
Don't think so.

Do you like weari​ng headb​ands?​
At first but then they give me a headache. I own a lot.

Have you ever been in a long dista​nce relat​ionsh​ip?​
No.

What was the last thing​ you ate?
Oatmeal.

Do you like the song Crush​ by David​ Archu​leta?​
no

Do you write​ in cursi​ve or print​?​
Both.

Have your paren​ts ever hated​ your boyfr​iend/​girlf​riend​?​
That'd be awesome.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie​ theat​er?​
Maggie.

When'​s the last time you had an Oreo?​
A long time ago.

How old were you when you got your first​ cell phone​?​
19

Who was the last perso​n to call you baby?​
Homeless man.

When'​s the last time you went to Wal-​Mart?​
This summer.

Do you and your best frien​d share​ cloth​es?​
Sometimes.

Are you happy​ with your life at the momen​t?​
Definitely.

What'​s the last thing​ you drank​?​
water

What time did you get to sleep​ last night​?​
11:00.

Did you go outsi​de for more than 30 minut​es today​?​
No, it's flippin cold.

Do you think​ the drink​ing age shoul​d be lower​ed to 18?
Maybe 19.

Do you like Obama​?​
I'm warming to him.

Last sport​ing event​ you watch​ed on TV?
Florida football, baby!

Last thing​ that touch​ed your lips?​
Water bottle.

Is cheat​ing ever okay?​
No.

Waiti​ng on anyth​ing?​
Christmas!

Are you pregn​ant?​
Nope.

Did you brush​ your teeth​ today​?​
Yes.

What book are you curre​ntly readi​ng?​
Thorn in my Heart. My mom recommended it.

Ever buste​d a lip?
I wish.

Have you ever cried​ cause​ you were mad?
Who hasn't?

Who was the last perso​n you smack​ed?​
Don't think anyone.

Who was drivi​ng the last time you were in a car?
Maggie.

But I thought our cup over-floweth?!?!

So I'm usually like the most trailing indicator of any trend (it took me about 5 years to accept that pointy toed shoes aren't going anywhere and I was 19 before i jumped on "the cell phone bandwagon"), but the economic trends are finally starting worry me. Maybe it's the couple unemployed people whose financial stability I have come to depend on, but I am deeply concerned that every industry is starting to fail. When the housing market went bust, I was relieved to not own a house. Then the car industry asked for a piece of the bailout pie and I was relieved to not own a car. But is the scooter industry next? Will there come a day when having no real financial responsibility short of a few student loans won't be enough? I better keep spending while the getting's good.

In an unrelated note, why does Ashlee Simpson have a baby? She's younger than me. Why does everyone want to get married and have babies (or whichever order the kids are doing it these days)? I mean, you're Ashlee Simpson, you have a new nose, most likely your own place to live, and probably a fair amount of disposable income. And most importantly AT LEAST 20 MORE CHILD BEARING YEARS!!! You can't go back, my friend. Why are people so quick to skip the vital stages of their lives? Sarah's boyfriend asked her to get married and move to Japan with him. SHE'S STILL IN COLLEGE! Does anyone else think it's crazy that people want to get married right out of college? Maybe it's just all the fun I'm having now, but i think a few years of post-collegiate, happy-houring, no savings, gchatting at work all day, talking to strangers in bars, good times is something everyone should have. But that's me.

Ode to Control Top Pantyhose

When I was young, you weren't for me.
You were rough and so scratchy.
But now I'm older and my ways have changed.
Restrictive comfort won't be shortchanged.

As I pull you up high above my thong,
To my midsection you can do no wrong.
And higher still til you reach my bra,
It's like a corset but more bourgeois.

Nude, opaque or even brown,
You are the sexiest thing in town.
You hold me in so nice and tight
I'm glad I finally see the light.

Oh, Control Top Pantyhose, you are the one.
Never again will I come undone.
And while your feelings I never meant to hurt,
I'll keep you hidden underneath my skirt.

Bad Ass is spelled S-C-O-O-T-E-R.

So you know those Dell commercials with the girl riding the little pink scooter? Everytime I see it, I think how much I want a scooter. It would be perfect for just a little scooting around. To church or to the grocery store or to class once I move to Chicago. It would be perfect. And I found the perfect one.















I can totally picture myself riding it. And as it happens, it matches my Dell computer. Come on! I had to restrain myself from impulse buying it. Maybe I'll just buy the helmet and see how that works out.

It’s not I’m anti-social, I’m only anti-work.

Today I tried to figure out when exactly I started hating my job. Because I never used to. I think for the first two years, despite my pretend distain of administrative tasks, I really didn’t mind it. Now I find myself volunteering to do administratey things. I love getting coffee for people. I started hating my job when I discovered you can be bored and stressed at the same time. I started hating my job when I first woke up in the middle of the night because I just remembered that I need to send out a report the next day. I started hating my job the first time we were passive aggressively “encouraged to step up”. They said everybody needs to step up. But if everyone is stepping up, is anyone stepping up? Why don’t I just do less work and then everyone else can look like they stepped up. When did it become reasonable for me to work four Sundays in a row? That’s crazy.

My main question now is if my lack of a work ethic is because real estate finance if for schmoes and I will be really dedicated to my new found pursuit of journalism, or am I really just a lazy sack? I guess I’ll find out soon enough. Although I’m already nervous about the fact that I can’t for the life of me get started on my application essays. A writer that doesn’t want to write. That can’t be good. Although writers need deadlines and mine’s not til January. I guess I just need some pressure. Strangely, the thought of staying at this job forever isn’t pressure enough. It really should be.